A trip to H Mart (or a quick Google Search) will reveal rows upon rows upon rows of peeled garlic, tofu, gigantic heads of napa cabbage, glossy packages of Buldak noodles, and so on and so forth.

Then how come there’s a woman crying in H Mart? 

#BookReview: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner 

A not-so-spoiler-free synopsis:
(Again, being spoiler-free is arguably not the point of a memoir.)

Michelle Chongmi Zauner was born to a Korean mother and a Caucasian father. She lived in Eugene, Oregon, with her parents while visiting Seoul twice a year with her mother. There, her relatives as well as Korean culture, particularly its cuisine, kept her connected to her Korean half. However, relationship with her mother began to fray when Michelle entered adolescence, during which she tried to shake off her Korean identity to fit in with her White peers. After going away for university and later for work, their relationship seemed to look up when tragedy struck: Michelle’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. In this memoir, Michelle would reckon with lost years, the complexity of filial love, and how to stay connected to her Korean roots after losing the person who had always bridged that gap. The answer she sought would come from the most unexpected of places: cooking Korean food and wandering the aisles of H Mart.

Personal Opinion:

For anyone interested in this book, I have two forewarnings:

1. Prepare a box of tissues beforehand.

Yes, you’ve guessed it! This memoir is a moving account of mother-daughter love, portrayed mainly during the last six months of Michelle’s mother’s life when she looked after her. It portrays one’s mother bedridden with cancer, seeing how she is stripped of autonomy and dignity in the process, and feeling the raw, searing pain when your dearest person is withering away each day. Some descriptions of Michelle’s mother’s hospice care can be unsettling, but cancer is a reality millions are facing each day – a fact we have to learn to deal with and – when it can’t be helped – accept and move on. Even so, we’re rarely ever whole again. 

This tragedy makes us reflect on our own relationship with our mothers: have we appreciated her love enough? Have we reciprocated it before it’s all too late?

2. Don’t read this at night or you would starve to death.

As hyperbolic as that probably sounds, trust me on this one. Michelle is superb at describing different dishes and tastes and cacophonies of flavors, and reading how she describes all the Korean delicacies will exhaust your saliva reservoir in no time. Joking aside, I adore this memoir for its rich insight into Korean and Korean-American cultures – from how food and beauty dominate the culture to the loneliness of being mixed-race and feeling like an outsider to both worlds.

All in all, Crying in H Mart is a rewarding read, for how it makes us pause and reflect on our mothers, and for the heartfelt glimpse into growing up mixed-race.